Negotiation is a skill we practice throughout our lives whether we know it or not.
Whether it’s negotiating what restaurant to eat at on the weekend, where to live, what movie to see, the list goes on. We negotiate the smallest of choices we have to make to some of the biggest decisions we make in our lives.
In our careers, it’s no different and many times, it’s in our professional lives we seem to get tripped up and don’t consider ALL our options as we consider what’s important to us especially when we’re interviewing.
With enough experience and practice, it’s a skill that can be nurtured and become ever so useful when it comes to negotiating money. The very ask people have the most trouble negotiating.
When it comes to interviewing, most candidates think of the monetary benefits they’re hoping to earn; a bump on their base salary as they consider their next move. Salary usually sits at the top of the list amongst other motivators that are important when exploring their next move. Depending on what’s driving your move and desire to change, they may vary in level of importance.
So why do we get choked up when it comes to asking for money?
The truth is, in the workplace, most people are uncomfortable asking for what they want. Especially money. Gender differences play a role here as research shows women struggle more than men with negotiating salaries.
More importantly, both men and women are not always prepared for the discussion or how to ask.
When I was in the very early stages of my career, I remember sitting across from a manager I had at the time who I admired and happened to be male and I flat out told him, “I hate asking for money…” and his answer to me was, “Why? You work hard, you’re performing, you should ask for what you want.” That’s it. Nothing complex, no long lecture, just, ask for what you want.
Of course, there’s more to it than just asking for what we want, but is there really? Yes, we may want to practice if we know we’re not great at the ask (whatever that may be), yet when we know in our bones we deserve AND want more, we just need to ask for it. Period.
Money isn’t everything, so while most of us tend to struggle with asking for money the most, when it comes to negotiating salaries when we’re in the middle of a job search, or simply asking for that promotion, there’s far more we can ask for than just the dollar and cents.
Here are some suggestions to keep in mind the next time you find yourself negotiating during your job search:
Be open and transparent with your salary expectations – this should really be shared before you get to this stage as most companies will want to understand if they can afford you at the early stages of the interview process. The last thing you want to do is go through a number of interviews only to reach an offer stage and learn the company just doesn’t have the budget to meet your salary expectations. Having said that, be clear with what you’re looking for – i.e. a 10% increase on my base, $10K sign-on bonus to cover X.
Be prepared to negotiate ALL benefits – we all have various motivators that are important to us and salary is not always the main and only benefit of interest. What else is important to you? Work from home? Vacation time? Commute allowance? Consider both monetary and non-monetary options. Also, consider discussing what the flex is around these items early in the process. Some benefits are company-wide policies that are less flexible to be offered to new hires coming on board.
Ask a trusted colleague or friend if you’re unsure of how to deliver your message and articulate what you want – if negotiating isn’t something that comes easy to you, practice ahead of time with someone you trust and know. Ask them to role play with you and ask for feedback. We don’t always see our own blind spots, so asking for someone else’s perspective can be helpful.
Be prepared to get a NO to what you asked for – so this is not always easy to hear and can be deflating especially if you’re trying to seal the deal with a company and new opportunity. Going back to the above, consider other options you can negotiate, but also, consider this to be a sign that it may not be the right fit if none of your requests or asks were met. This isn’t about giving up and walking away, however, if you’ve made every effort to explore and consider ALL your options, the option to walk away is also one to consider if your requirements aren’t met.
Now, I’d love to hear from you! What would you add to these suggestions? Is there a negotiation strategy you’ve used that’s been effective?
Happy negotiating!
Lisa
