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Why boundaries aren’t just important, but necessary


Whenever someone used to talk about boundaries, I used to think of a boundary that separates or divides something.  I didn’t think about it as something to protect my personal energy.

Now I understand the importance of healthy boundaries and how they allow us to protect ourselves and our energy in all areas of our life.  It’s your way of saying, “I’ll accept this…” and “I won’t accept this…”.  It’s understanding and knowing your limits.

Before I understood what boundaries were, I didn’t understand what a healthy boundary looked like, let alone apply them to my own life.  In a previous version of myself, I remember being in a constant state of giving so much of my energy to everyone and anyone. I often felt depleted and drained and really didn’t understand why. 

I thought I was being nice and helping people who were coming to me either for advice or asking for my help, yet why was I leaving those interactions feeling drained? 

Since much of my work and by nature, I’m open and giving with others, it was a game-changer for me once I realized that boundaries weren’t just important but necessary. 

Once they were put in place (and still are), it allowed me to remain grounded in my own energy and feel like I still had enough for me while still being able to give to other things and people in my life.  It also demonstrated that while I’m able to connect and be open with others, there’s a boundary I’ve placed for myself that I am now respecting.

Boundaries are not the same as blocks or walls people armour themselves with.  So, to be clear, a boundary is meant to be a healthy often, invisible barrier that allows you to preserve and protect your energy and yourself.  You’re respecting yourself and showing others what you will and will not tolerate. 

If you’re unsure of how to set and apply healthy boundaries to your life, take note of some of these simple practices to consider and questions to reflect on:

  • Boundaries can be applied to ALL areas of your life; not necessarily at work or in your relationships.  Where in your life do you feel you need to put a boundary or have more boundaries in place?

  • What are the boundaries you want to put in place and with who?  For example, the boundaries you might set at work with your colleagues might look different from those you set with your loved ones and friends.

  • Ask yourself what it is you need?  Is it more time?  Energy?  Power?  Respect? If you feel like there’s something you need more of and not getting, that could be a sign that you may want to create a boundary for yourself where your energy might be leaking or given away.

  • Set your intention before heading into that coffee with your friend, that meeting at work, that conversation with a loved one, etc.  Especially in the beginning as you’re just implementing this practice. Think about what your intention is ahead of time so you’re going in consciously being mindful of how you want to show up to that experience until it becomes second nature.

One of my favorite writers and motivational speakers, Gabby Bernstein shares what healthy boundaries look like for her. Take note of how she explains while having a healthy boundary in place, she can still be kind and open.

Boundaries are for anyone who can use that invisible barrier in order to protect the most important thing you can control – YOUR energy.  You are in charge of where it goes and who you give it to. 

While you may only see a need in one area of your life, consider where those boundaries may need to be inserted to ensure all your needs are met.

I’d love to hear from you!

Where in your life have you applied healthy boundaries?

Share in the comments below and let me know how boundaries have helped you in your life.

With so much love,

Lisa xo



Lisa De Nicola

Lisa De Nicola is an Intuitive Leadership Coach and a Corporate Magic Maker (a Trusted Advisor who believes in Magic) dedicated to helping businesses bring out the essence of their biggest resource - their people. She coaches bold leaders to help them become the Director of their life so they can do business and life on their terms. With 15 + years of corporate experience working in the world of talent for multi-national, global organizations, Lisa shares her knowledge, spiritual tools, practices and business insights to leaders looking to transform the way they lead from the inside out.

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