What if I told you your lowest experience would someday inspire someone to share their own? Would you be brave enough to share it?
In a world where vulnerability is sometimes confused with oversharing, our stories and experiences illuminate humanity in all of us, no matter how big or small.
Where isolation and loneliness have become epidemic, the burden of our most painful experiences seems too much to bear at times, especially alone.
Two women who’ve been friends for nearly 10 years peeled back another layer that neither of us knew about the other.
“Thank you for seeing me, dude.”
We met in a gym class. A combat class (non-contact, kickboxing) of all classes.
We both like to kick butt and have been friends ever since. Eight-plus years and counting.
As a trained Nutritionist and Herbalist, I ask her questions about nearly everything under the sun. She’s been a go-to for so many health-related questions. Fortunately, nothing serious, yet health is health, and for someone who intuitively knows what’s healthy for me and what’s not, I haven’t always gone as deep as I could go to get to the root cause of any underlying issue.
That’s since evolved, and a big part of that is thanks to her.
As many naturally do, our friendship has ebbed and flowed over the years.
Recently, we learned far more about each other’s lives and experiences than we have in all our friendship.
This past weekend, we got together after a couple of months of not seeing each other or speaking.
She knew what I was going through the better half of last year, particularly the last couple of months, and asked how I was doing.
The fact that I was sitting across from her and could speak about life and relationships without sobbing uncontrollably was a testament to how far I had come.
As I gave her the Coles Notes version of the wisdom garnered and the story that would eventually be shared to show women what self-love, self-respect and a host of other cliché lessons I learned, there was enough emotion in me that evoked emotion in her.
I saw the gloss in her eyes forming as I recounted my journey; she leaned in and rested her chin on her hand as though she were watching a movie.
It took me sharing the aftermath of my experience for her to open up and feel safe enough to express her own trials over the past few months.
Since we hadn’t spoken in a while for reasons we both are aware of, neither of us knew the extent and degree of what each of us was going through separately.
This was the first time I saw her cry in almost 10 years of friendship.
She’s not the most emotional person (I have that covered for both of us), but she’s sensitive.
Her go-go-go, always busy, always doing something, always there for everyone else, came to a halt, and she was just herself at that moment.
When she opened up, I had no words for her vulnerability. I was honoured she felt safe enough and comfortable to share her emotions with me.
I felt her pain and extended my hand to hold her.
After almost 2 hours of tears flowing and hearts baring, we left the café we were sitting in.
I looked at the woman sitting next to us, who had looked at us both a few times in what felt like this deep therapy session two friends were having, and said, “I’m so sorry you had to hear this, and we disturbed you.” She smiled and said, “Don’t worry about it, have a great day.”
I put on my jacket and quietly said, “This is life…”
As we walked out, I turned to her and said, “Come here, give me a hug.”
She said, “Thank you for seeing me, dude.”
(She’s the one friend who calls me dude! We have a love language in how we communicate, what can I say)
When emotions run high, people often want to be seen and heard. They want to be validated for their feelings, even in their lowest of lows.
They want to feel understood.
To be witnessed in what they’re going through.
There will always be times and moments when you don’t want to be seen in your despair, in your saddest and most painful moments. And, of course, those times are private and important, too.
When you don’t have people who can see you for who you are, you feel it enormously when someone does.
As we celebrate International Women’s Day (which, in my life, is every dang day), take time to recognize the women in your life with your heart.
Look past the titles, roles, labels, and status of those around you.
Call them.
Ask them how they’re doing.
Be brave enough to be vulnerable and let people in.
Lead with your heart instead of your mind.
And celebrate every emotion you have because it’s the most beautiful part that connects every one of us humans on this planet.
That, my friends, is a strength.
In what ways can you show some love to a friend in your life today? Let me know in the comments below.
Big love,
Lisa
